Playing and tidying up – Hints

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Hints

Here you will find some suggestions for a possible solution of the situation described above. If you have the opportunity, please discuss it with your friends or your spouse. Exchange your experiences within an open discussion.

Are there things you would like to change? We hope to encourage you to try out ideas and actions that you believe could help resolve an issue with a tired child who is unwilling to tidy up.

If children learn to assume responsibility in their own possible way, you support them in becoming responsible members of society, taking part in Living Democracy. For more information please see the following homepage:
http://www.living-democracy.com/suggestions/?key_concept=responsibility

• Look at how you talk to your child: if you often use orders, commands and snippy rebukes, this may impair the acquisition of language. Moreover, it is painful for the child and may keep him from learning anything. Try to avoid negative commands like: ”Put your stuff away!“ “Tidy up the room!“
  If you wish to read more about communication which is not conducive to democratic life and would like to review your own communication style in terms of destructive messages, please click here!
• Try to always provide children with multiple options and ask about their opinions. You can do so with questions like: “What are we going to do with all these toys when we’re done with playing?“
• Children love to receive positive comments. You can express this with compliments and positive reactions when a child offers constructive actions or answers: „Yes, you are right, we tidy up the toys, bravo!“ or “yes, I know, you are tired, let’s do it quickly together, and then we will have dinner” or “yes, I can see that you are angry, do you want to do it tomorrow?”
• Act as a role model: Show how to put all the books on the shelf, building blocks in one box and toy cars in another. You must also keep order in your own documents, books, kitchen equipment or tools. Your child will notice and learn “I can find my things more easily and it is more fun to use them, if I keep order!“
• Invite your children to tell their own thoughts and listen to them. This way you stimulate the expansion of their vocabulary and the neural network in their brain.