Important tips and suggestions for a conversation about drugs
Deliberately plan and allow for free time to listen to your children and engage in conversation with each other. Try to participate in this way in the life of your children, thus indicating to them: “You are important to me, and it matters to me that you are well and safe.“
If you suspect that your teenagers consume illegal drugs, arrange for a quiet talk without stress. Consider beforehand which points you want to discuss and what you want to find out.
If you expect to receive open and honest answers, you should refrain from cornering your teenagers with accusations and full of indignation. Owing to many physical and emotional changes in the lives of teenagers, they already feel insecure and thus react particularly irritably to their own parents‘ reproaches. It is highly recommendable to communicate with I-Messages, whereby you share your own observations and feelings and focus on the effects of their actions.
Inform and educate yourselves about drug use and its consequences in general, and in particular about the kinds of drugs which your children may (potentially) take. Your own ignorance may only stir up the fears.
In talking about drugs, you should clearly state your own position and attitude: Drug use can have very harmful effects on your health, particularly the health of teenagers. Under the influence of drugs, one may do things which one would not do in a normal state and which one might later regret.
Additionally, it is important to clearly recognize and to think about one’s own consumption habits. Do not avoid discussions about it and recognize your position as a role model: Set an example: moderate your consumption of alcohol and, if you should be a smoker, refrain from smoking in closed rooms or cars.
To arrange an agreement with adolescents is far more effective than threats and bluster (e.g. try to agree on a period of abstinence from consumption). Do not expect too much from your teenagers, however. If you obtain information about their consumption habits, that may suffice for the time being.
Focus your attention in the ensuing conversations not only on drug consumption. In every phase of life, albeit very difficult, there is still something beautiful which connects parents and children.
Should you be unable to get through to your teenagers and you fear that their drug habits may escalate, you should seek expert help. This could include your personal physician, but also specialists from addiction advice and treatment centers.
